the practice of architecture

Think with your hands. Produce and refine in the computer. I preach but don't practice. Thinking occurs risk. Risk I am forbidden to take. too young. too old. too female to have realistic thoughts. Preaching thoughts while backroom deals are where the thinking happens. Lunches off-site, slacked comments, and soft spoken asides. A revelation of thought has no room here. Here we work. Thinking is not working. Do as i say. Sit down, takes notes and don't say anything. I am good at one of those things. I can take notes until i die. writing and drawing and synthesizing information. How is it that taking notes is the most important thing i do everyday?